25 Rules For Voting Democrat
The Democrat voter’s pledge:
- I vote Democrat because the government knows what’s best for me.
- I vote Democrat because if we don’t like something, we will get it banned and outlawed.
- I vote Democrat because I believe in global warming and we must spend massive money to stop it, in spite of the fact that all of the “facts” were lies.
- I vote Democrat because it’s immoral for private banks to make a profit, but it’s OK for the government to do so.
- I vote Democrat because the government knows how to spend my money better than I do.
- I vote Democrat because the poor, lazy, and clueless have a right to my earnings.
- I vote Democrat because we must have the freedom to kill as many babies as necessary, yet we must defend the rights of murderers at all cost. No, that’s not backwards.
- I vote Democrat because all people should have equal access to poor health care.
- I vote Democrat because unqualified minorities should be required to take jobs that qualified white people would be outstanding at.
- I vote Democrat because only criminals should have guns.
- I vote Democrat because if a murderous thief breaks into your house, he has a right to your stuff, and you should only have the right to run away, not defend yourself or protect your loved ones or belongings.
- I vote Democrat because of eight letters: ACLU and SEIU. The ACLU – protecting criminals from good people like you.
- I vote Democrat because we need to slow down. Efficiency is bad.
- I vote Democrat because I hate and envy the wealthy and successful. They must be punished.
- I vote Democrat because freedom of speech should not apply to opposing (conservative) viewpoints.
- I vote Democrat because I’m politically correct and easily offended.
- I vote Democrat because I’m not racist, but I feel the need to come to the rescue of minorities because they’re too stupid to do it themselves.
- I vote Democrat because Muslims will leave us alone and learn to love us if we just stop harassing them.
- I vote Democrat because light bulbs filled with highly poisonous mercury are far better for the environment than light bulbs filled with tiny wires.
- I vote Democrat because the Constitution is an outdated document that I have never read and never will.
- I vote Democrat because my heroes in Hollywood do.
- I vote Democrat because nobody should excel or stand out – it hurts other people’s feelings.
- I vote Democrat because the government knows how to deal with businesses that make a profit, as well as businesses that are failing.
- I vote Democrat because all the evil in the world is because of capitalism and the United States.
- I vote Democrat because people are just too stupid to control their own lives.
And finally, I vote Democrat because, well, is there any other point of view? Not according to what I learned from public schools, the media, and Hollywood.
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Awesome. We will win. Against all odds. We are right, just and have God on our side.
November…
I vote GOP because God tells them what laws to pass because the government knows what’s best for me.
I vote Republican because it’s immoral for private banks to commit usury as per the Bible , but it’s OK because they are a corporation.
I vote GOP because the poor, lazy, and clueless old people have a right to my earnings and aren’t responsible for all the debt they gave their kids.
I vote GOP because it is fair to allow the Doctor guild to limit the number of doctor and because I believe that having a Doctor tell you what something is going to cost before hand is wrong. I also support special tax deductions for hospitals so they can do things like run a day spa.
#12 was missing a chunk…
And SEIU for keeping good jobs open to illegals instead of taxpaying citizens.
I vote Democrat because I support Moslem jihad and Sharia Law. Sharia includes killing homosexuals and stoning female rape victims, but I still support it and I’m still more compassionate than Republicans because Barney Frank says so.
I vote Democrat because the USA doesn’t have a large Communist Party yet. Until it does, we’ll call ourselves “Democrats” to fool people.
I vote Democrat because Al Gore needs my Carbon Taxes to help silence his rape victims.
The Republican voter’s pledge:
I vote Republican because I know that Trent Lott is right when he says: “We don’t need a lot of Jim DeMint disciples, as soon as they get here, we need to co-opt them.”
I vote Republican because I love to be deceived. They claim they are for limited government, but spend money like crazy once they are in office.
I vote Republican because I want our kids to die overseas fighting a country that never attacked us and didn’t threaten us. In spite of spending upward of $1,000,000,000,000.00 on our claimed “victory”, more Americans died in Iraq last month than in any month since the invasion started.
I vote Republican because I am so infatuated with the Bush family that I get a boner just thinking about Jeb entering the 2012 Presidential race, in spite of the miserable failures of his brother and father.
I vote Republican because I think that jogging towards the abyss is GOOD while running towards the abyss is BAD. So the lesser of two evils sounds really encouraging to me!
First, I’m impressed that a liberal can complete a thought and not be distracted by a squirrel, and that a liberal can write a complete sentence. Congratulations! Public schools done gone and did right by you.
Second, conservatives don’t even like Bush, so that sentence didn’t make any sense – Bush spent like a Democrat.
The sentence about being deceived doesn’t even warrant a response. Try to open your eyes to what the socialist usurping the White House is doing to this country. It’s all lies and deception, but then, MSNBC will never let you see that.
Trent Lott? Really? Are the minor things he did still keeping you up at night? Awwww.
Finally, I don’t remember defending Republicans. Most of them turned into sleazy liberals. The may as well have been Democrats.
Barry, great additions!
WOW. I like Jim DeMint and you think I’m a liberal??? What a retard.
You forgot racist.
WE ARE AMERICANS THAT SHOULD STAND TOGETHER ONE NATION NOT DIVIDED. FOR REPUBLIC AND DEMOCRAT HAVE BAD POINTS AND BAD WAYS OF TRYING TO RUN OUR COUNTRY. WE ARE NOT A PARTY OF ONE MIND. but MANY DIFFERENT MINDS AND IDEAS , DIFFERENT BELIEFS. BUT MOST OF US AMERICANS WANT WHAT IS RIGHT AND DONT WANT WHAT OUR GOVERNMENT IS TRYING TO HAND US. WE NEED TO STOP FIGHTING EACH OTHER AND STAND TOGEATHER ON THE ISSUES WE BELIEVE IN IF WE TAKE THE GOOD POINTS FROM BOTH DEMOCRATS AND REPUBLICS THEN WE CAN BE A STRONGER NATION. ONE NATION UNDER GOD. YES I SAID GOD. OUR NATION NEEDS TO TURN BACK TO HIM. YOU SAY IM CRAZY BUT WHEN YOUR MOM DAD FAMILY IS IN THE HOSPITAL MOST OF US TURN TO HIM THEN. DONT WAIT TILL AMERICA IS ON HER LAST LEG TO ASK HIM FOR HELP START NOW.
I vote Republican because the Democrats think killing unborn children is good, having homosexuals flaunt their lifestyles is good, and being religious hypocrites is good (Biden, Pelosi, Kennedy, et al).
In spite of Republican’s faults, Democrats make anyone to the right if themselves look so much better in comparison.
I vote Republican because the Democrats think killing unborn children is good, having homosexuals flaunt their lifestyles is good, and being religious hypocrites is good (Biden, Pelosi, Kennedy, et al).
In spite of Republican’s faults, Democrats make anyone to the right of themselves look so much better in comparison.